FAT girl

FAT-She fat!
What a fat bitch---
wow how dare she wear that.
Ew gross.

I feel a little self-conscious about my size.
But I've always been gorgeous.
And I rein with my confidence--- I glow
I demand attention

She holds this pronounced stage presence
she doesn't dance like a fat girl-wow
she gets down-wow
how does she run that fast? for that long?
She is a fat girl.

You know that's why she is so bitchy...
No one likes her
How are you friends with her?
She is blunt, rude and loud!
Who?
You know that fat girl?With the huge tits.


FUCK YOU.

Why is she wearing that?
Rolls hanging off her sides
Stretch marks like tiger stripes.

I don't know how to feel.

"Do you feel like a traitor?...You know you didn't even clap"

But I laughed---an uncomfortable laugh.
I enjoyed her humor.
But being fat is not a joke to me---
laughter is merely a mechanism to hide the ache

I feel uncomfortable sitting in my chair.

Fat girl--- that fluffy girl

"You'd be pretty if you lost 20lbs."

Thank You. Thank you for reminding me that I'm not pretty now.

I lay on the ground on my stomach,
facing my two door mirror
eyes sunken in, no make-up, tangled messy hair
in sweats, my pores look huge.
Such a fat girl.

I'm always going to be a fat girl---
"dreaming of a diet that is not carb-free"

It bothered me----lit a fire inside of me
I'm sick of it.
and I feel a whole new cognitive dissonance
I should relate to this girl
and her writing, but instead I am enraged.

Don't call me a FAT girl---
no I don't want to embrace my fat curvaceous body
I'm not proud---
here let me hide it under this blanket
Don't look at me, my fat arms and my fat face
Nor at this tire around my waist that doesn't completely ever go away--
I'm always going to be a FAT girl, a fatass, a whale, tapon de alberca---
FAT bitch!


NO! I've never been a fat girl,
no not me.
That's not WHO I AM---
Even if that's all you see.