Transformation Occurs

purposely a wall of mirrors
so that I can see me for me
had been avoiding myself for over half a decade
focusing on my mind, bruised heart,
rejection, plotting, revenge,
 façade of a bitch

building up my emotion
around everyone else

cutting myself, figuratively
breaking off pieces of my heart

leaving a trail behind
hoping someone would follow
and find me, find me

cloaked in layers of thick skin
stretch marks and scars
buying clothes and more clothes
filling voids

writing about "love/lust"and lying,
believing his lies, my lies, everyone's fucking lies
it's okay to feel ugly and hurt

gorgeous
inked, facing me, everyday
so that I begin to believe again

someplace I might have lost me
so I wrote on my skin
wrote on paper

peeled off layers like an onion
tears flowed from my eyes
continuously crying
until I ran dry
my layers are being shed away
I feel half way back

mirrors purposely surround me
clues surround me
places I run to
people with words to tell me
dreams and goals to
remind me

transform
transform
into the innocent, naive girl you were
before the alcohol
before the lust
before all that was added to the equation
simple versus complex
transform

transformation as it continues
occurs