untitled 9.5.12

me da mariposas---

right until the moment he arrives

I see him and they settle

he brings me calm

a security and comfort I can't quite yet describe

as if he sees so much more

and knows I see much more

but no words

just glances and stares

quick little kisses and surprises here and there

the warmth of an embrace

sitting here

still surrounded by the energy you bring

I can smell you on my skin 

the numbness is fading

and I remember the touch of your lips

the sound and beat of your heart

at rest

your eyes staring down at me every so often

light fills your eyes

and brightness--radiant glow that covers your face

I lay here 

my body thrown across yours

at rest

and I don't want to let go

such a redundant phrase

such a feeling, misplaced

no words--no, nothing

and all I need are those eyes 

looking into mine

that constant feeling and knowing

you are searching for more

his eyes close

his breath becomes rhythmic

asleep

watching on 

feeling and looking ever so peaceful

at rest. 

and so we settle.

a new unknown destination

I've got ink all over my hands tonight
I'm letting go of my fears and vices
you've made it seem as though the time is finally right
I'm willing to take this risk

with you
don't let me down
let me down
break me down
build me up

crazy how one person can evoke so much emotion
and make you start writing a new chapter
all of a sudden
here we are
try to absorb everything
too quickly?

I don't really know
is there more to this?
there outta be
crazy feeling you've got me
you've got me thinking

making me slightly crazy
that's how it outta be?
It's how it is.

Psyching myself out
Weighing the negatives and the positives on a scale
trying to find a balance.

Another big question --
what happens when you start to find the little things you don't quite like

it's bound to happen
am I jumping
jumping too far
rushing a head
tripping over my own feet

I can't see straight
All of a sudden it's dark outside
and I've got to trust that it's you that I'm holding on to

so here is to my new unknown destination
my new inspiration

I finally stopped smiling, as the thoughts begin to sink in
You've arrived.

and here we go into the unknown.

over exposed photograph

My thoughts
sometimes sound like they are being screamed out loud
more than words
more like a photograph
open to perception
and being exposed

That is only in my head
You can't read my mind
Not completely, no, not yet
Maybe just a little

I'm scared we will be too much
and I remind myself that this is only the beginning
The storm will calm
as soon as we are exposed

just please help me breathe a little
even die a little

turn down the lights
make my room feel and fill red
in a dark room hold me tight
make sure I am not over exposed

then bring me back to life
because I've been holding back for some time now
hiding my heart
you say you want to hold off giving your heart
for someone that deserves it
so don't wear your heart on your sleeve

Don't let us fall so easily
don't let me fight it off

I can see myself sneakily putting up walls
already
simply because I am afraid
to tell
to tell my story
and be exposed

no I know you won't run away with my stories nor my world
but rather the fear sets in that I will be exposed

and not on my own accord
and all my bad sides will show
like an over exposed photograph

just leave me as a negative instead

under the pretty face, lies so much more
lies, evil
lies so much more

So I've learned to believe
so I've conditioned myself to think
I'm usually the villain

truth be told maybe I am simply under exposed.

My heart on a silver platter

I'm scared--but here you go.

told you that I was willing to take this risk with you.

taring down these walls
so you can see that there is much more to me
one brick at a time
letting the tears dry
making sure that my eyes seem bright
told you "please be patient with me"

here is my heart on a silver platter
fresh, bloody, bruised, beating freely, red, blue, and purple
yours for the taking

filled with ache
unsure what we are expecting
I should really care a lot less
but I've never worn my heart on my sleeve

I feel insecure
like this is all a dream
and soon I'll wake
to find that I've been sleeping with my eyes open


here is my heart on a silver platter
fresh, bloody, bruised, beating freely, red, blue, and purple
yours for the taking


looking at you in amazement
I pinch myself
just to believe you really exist
and here you are standing  next to me
fingers intertwined
staring straight into me
I've always felt so alone

my mind feels like such a mess
thoughts fill my head
but I cannot get one coherent word said
and I'm struggling for air

here is my heart on a silver platter
fresh, bloody, bruised, beating freely, red, blue, and purple
yours for the taking


you've taken my breath away