Empty, empty--- I like to stay on empty
I avoid the phone calls
Because I don't want to hear the desperation
& panic in her voice.
It may be starting again
Another hick-up
---Some mid life crisis
I'm unhappy ---fuck this all
"Que haremos--it's all we've ever known."
I get scared for us.
I get scared for you too--
My heart feels guilty
I would like to offer you more.
Instead I try to cut the conversation short.
Pretend that there is static,
too much noise !!!
there is.
I hear my heart panic
--pounding noise--
my head starts spinning
You know he is reaching for the liquor cabinet
She feels helpless and ever more alone
I start to look else where to fill the emptiness I am creating
something---someone---
to fill the void
to avoid
to keep running
I am always too busy shutting doors
Shutting the door behind me
to the past me
my past life
to that life
Pretending its settled
but when it rains
it pours
and what is buried always resurfaces
can you really bury what you are born into?
and you can only run so long
It'll always come and get you
No matter if you fill the hole
eating away at you
like worms and maggots in the ground
at a decomposing body
feeding their hunger
their desire for more---
guilty void
I like to stay on empty--
empty, empty
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pihYCzuuS7o
