all up in the mix

Last Thursday, I left the valley

I hadn't left in months. 

I left feeling trapped

And I came home, wanting to come home.

And in all honesty that doesn't happen too often.

I re-evaluated where and what phase I am in my life.

I guess it always takes me to pull myself out of me, and out of my current

situation to truly appreciate where, what, and why I do the things

that I do in my life.

I travelled to paradise.

The land of my wild adventures.

Back to college.

The weather was beautiful, 

I was surrounded by people I love.

Had drinks, danced, relaxed, danced some more

Ate some fabulous meals and breakfast burritos

And most importantly drank agave with my coffee

Lost my voice.

Came back with bruises and a swollen ankle.

And another tattoo.

But while being all up in that mix

I also hear a lot of trash talking and will admit did some myself

I complained

And I heard about drama

And relived drama that I don't like to deal with

And was like you know what fuck this.

I ruined part of my vacation.

When I should have just said fuck you and ditched people

So that I could see some of my best friends...

That is where I did fail.

I let it get the best of me....

and so I reflected on my drive

Yes, I miss college

But I don't miss the drama.

I don't mind being to myself

and although I complain about how I miss having friends near me

I don't miss the baggage that some people carry,

Although I love myy bitches, I don't like to necessarily be all up in the mix

you know?

So regardless if I'm here

In the middle of no where

The small town girl loves it

To an extent.

I love my family

and what summer brings.

The Fruit. The sweetness of my parents.

I see all of these doors and opportunities for me

And you know what, I know I'm going to make it one day

So who cares if I am relaxing and taking it easy for now...

Because I've got the rest of my life

And I've already done so much and done so much other people my age haven't

I'm not competing with anyone but myself.

I'm happy.

I like the feeling.

I like joking and laughing. And making cookies for my parents

Because I can.